Not Quite Home
by romansrampaige
Summary: They'd promised to stay in touch the same way they'd promised Paige's drunken confession of having /those/ kinds of feelings wouldn't alter anything between them, but promises are always easier made than kept. / One-shot set about two weeks after Paige's return last year.


**This is nothing but the product of me getting all up in my feels. Just for a change. The beginning hit me so I just rolled with it. ANYWAYS I hope you enjoy it and I've started to plan another long-term story so stay tuned for that if you want?**

* * *

"It's awesome but it's...not the same."

" _Hm?_ " Came AJ's voice down the phone, questioning the sudden statement. " _What do you mean?_ "

Paige sighed. A long, deep sigh that was tainted with the regret she was already beginning to feel at having let that slip out. Maybe calling AJ after all this time had been a bad idea after all. Her brain had practically screamed at her that she shouldn't do it, that she was emotional and would end up saying something that couldn't be taken back, but her hand had seemed to have a mind of its own as it picked up her mobile and dialled AJ's number. Kind of like old times. Like when AJ was still around.

"Forget it." She forced a small chuckle, aiming to lighten the suddenly dropped mood of their catch-up. "I'm not running on much sleep, suddenly travelling again is kicking my ass a bit. Guess I just got to thinking too much."

" _Good to see your habit of dodging things hasn't died._ "

Another sigh escaped. So much for lightening the mood. AJ hadn't always been able to see right through her, but she'd learned how to pretty damn quick and it was a skill that had obviously stayed with the New Jersey native. Like so many things had stayed with Paige; all the talks, the laughs, the road trips from one show to another where they'd kept each other awake with stupid jokes and bad singing, _that_ night...

" _I won't push if you really don't want to explain._ " AJ assured when no response came, her voice a bit softer now. " _But I think you said that for a reason._ "

"Yeah." Paige replied, pausing a moment as she tried to find the best way to begin. "I mean...I'm over the fucking moon to be back, don't get me wrong. Being able to walk back out there after so long felt incredible, especially with the reception I got. And all the girls are amazing."

" _But?_ "

"But I hadn't thought about how different it'd be...you know? You left, Brie left a year later, Nikki's pretty much gone now too. Rosa's been done for a while, Foxy's out injured, Nattie's over on SmackDown...so much has changed. I get along with everyone but it's kinda like when I first got called up all over again."

" _Are you saying you feel alone?_ "

"It's more like...not quite home." The Brit internally kicked herself the moment the words came out. Way to sound like a complete sap. "Jesus, I sound like an emo song or something. Sorry."

" _No, no, don't be._ " AJ replied hurriedly. " _I get it...home isn't just the place, it's the people too. I kinda realized that myself._ "

If only the older woman knew just how hard she'd hit the nail on the head with that statement. The people too...or maybe just one person. Someone long gone. Paige would never admit how much it had hurt her to see AJ leave, to have been on top of the world with her only to then come crashing down and be left almost lost, wondering what would come next. They'd promised to stay in touch the same way they'd promised Paige's drunken confession of having _those_ kinds of feelings wouldn't alter anything between them, but promises are always easier made than kept.

And now she was in dangerous territory again, in the position where some other confession could make its way out without the boost of alcohol behind it. She could let AJ know that out of all the congratulatory messages she'd received the night of her triumphant return to WWE, her short but sweet one had meant the most. She could say that she'd fought the urge to call more times than she could count over the past couple of years, or that she'd always wonder if AJ could've felt the same way if she hadn't been married.

There was a lot she _could_ say, but she wouldn't let any of it out. One slip was enough.

"Is this...weird? That I called?" (Okay, maybe two slips...two slips was fine. But no more.)

" _No."_ A small silence stretched out before AJ continued. " _Not for me, anyway. I was actually happy to see your name show up again...I kinda hate how we fell apart._ "

Fuck. Paige swallowed. "I kinda hate it too...I don't think it could've been stopped, though. With everything we both have going on."

A gentle sigh came down the line. " _You're probably right. I wanted to call a few times but part of me felt like I was a chapter in your life that had been closed. Or that you needed to close._ "

"Funny, I felt the same with you." Did that count as another slip? Things were definitely growing even more dangerous, but it was impossible for her to hold it in when AJ was being so open. When things were as comfortable as ever between them and it'd only taken 15 minutes for them to get there. "I mostly feared I was just an unwanted reminder of the world you left behind."

" _Never unwanted._ " AJ replied quietly. " _You did always remind me of what I left but it's not a bad thing._ "

"So we lost contact for no good reason?"

" _Pretty much."_ A humourless chuckle, more sad than anything else. " _For the sake of being honest, I have to add that I was scared of hurting you after what you told me._ "

Paige felt her heart sink slightly at the words. "Yeah, I figured as much. I guess I kinda ruined everything after all."

" _You didn't. It was our own stupidity in assuming things that broke the contact, nothing else. Okay?"_

"Thank you...I think I needed those answers. It's probably part of why I called."

" _Part of?_ "

"Yeahhh." Paige trailed off, suddenly feeling embarrassed at how soft she'd gotten in such a short space of time. Not that she hadn't suspected deep down that it would happen, any guard she possessed had been gradually broken down by AJ during their year of closeness on the main roster and though the defensive part of her hated it, she knew that no time or distance would build it back up again as far as AJ was concerned. "I also wanted to thank you properly for your message the night I made my comeback, which I did before you threw me off by asking what being back is like. And for the sake of being honest..."

A genuine laugh was heard at the mirroring of words, causing Paige to smile at having received the reaction she hoped for. "For the sake of being honest, I was thinking about you because of all the changes I mentioned and I got all up in my emotional side remembering the times we had and it pushed me to finally stop being a stubborn jackass and do something."

" _I'm glad you stopped being a stubborn jackass._ "

Paige scoffed. "You're worse because I cracked first."

"... _that's a good point._ " AJ conceded, earning a playful 'hah!' of victory in response. " _I do want to keep in touch though, properly this time._ "

"I think we can manage that, as long as you don't forget about me again with all this fame and success you're getting." Paige teased.

" _Again? I never forgot about you._ "

"Same here, pumpkin. I'll let you go now, this whole lack of sleep thing is coming round to punch me in the face and I should probably pay attention to it if I'm gonna have any semblance of a good match against Sasha tomorrow night."

AJ snickered. " _You'll be fine, trust me. I'll be watching. Sleep well."_

"You too."

" _And Paige?_ "

"Yeah?"

" _I miss you, too._ "

"I didn't say-"

" _You didn't have to. Night."_


End file.
